Last week, during a meeting with top business executives, President Covfefe had a slip of the tongue when he refereed to Apple chief executive Tim Cook as Tim Apple.

Before cable news, no one would have learned about this or thought twice about it. With cable news, it might have been a amusing news story that would be forgotten fifteen minutes after it was reported. Thanks to the Internet, the whole world gets to chuckle at the moment for a day. Tim Cook even changed his Twitter handle to Tim Apple, because why not. End of story. There’s nothing more to this. On to the next thing…

But no. This is Donald Trump, who has never met a slight that was too small to challenge or lie about.

First, he claimed to not have said what we all saw he said on the video.

From Axios:

Trump told the donors that he actually said “Tim Cook Apple” really fast, and the “Cook” part of the sentence was soft. But all you heard from the “fake news,” he said, was “Tim Apple.”

Two donors who were there told me they couldn’t understand why the president would make such a claim given the whole thing is captured on video. Nobody cared, they said, and Tim Cook took it in good humor by changing his Twitter profile to Tim Apple.

Of course, this is ridiculous. It’s like when he first claimed his crowd size was bigger than Obama’s. First, it doesn’t matter. Second, holy shit it doesn’t matter. Third, we have eyes, we have ears, we can see and hear these things.

Of course, instead of letting a sleeping dog lie, Trump has to curb stomp it to oblivion, President Thin-Skin took a new approach, claiming he did it on purpose, because it’s an “easy way to save time & words.” Say what you want about the man, but that is true efficiency…

It’s truly baffling. He’s the only human being on the planet who can take a mistake and turn it into his own brilliant genius. By falling down the stairs, I got there faster. You’re welcome.